The day was February 27, 1986. I was six years old, living in Snoqualmie, WA, a small town outside of Seattle known for it's majestic waterfalls. Here my dad pastored a tiny church and oversaw the one-room schoolhouse that was attached (yes, you read that right..one-room schoolhouse, where I as a second grader sat near those who were in middle school). As my mom prepared dinner, I sat fixed to the black and white tv in the dining room, watching the great R.W. Schambach preaching about the atrocities of hell in the stereotypical hellfire and brimstone sort of way, and I was terrified.
We had just had a minor kitchen fire, that required the fire department's help to extinguish. Our kitchen had blackened walls and ceiling, and it stunk! Of course, there is nothing "minor" about a fire in the house when you're six years old, and this was especially true in my case. You see, the year before, my grandmother had been severely burned in a kitchen fire in her home, and the trauma of that for her, as well as for the rest of the family, was still on my mind.
As Mr. Schambach preached and yelled about the fires of hell burning hot and how I was destined to go there if I didn't receive Christ into my heart, I panicked. Having grown up in the church, I always believed in God. My mom even tells the story that I would dance in the womb every time praise and worship was happening in church. I didn't know any different, nor did I want to know anything different. I prayed, and I knew that God heard me and answered prayer (after all, he healed my cat when I was three!). But in that moment, I believed that I was doomed to the destruction of hell. I ran to my mom and asked her if I was saved. I don't remember exactly what she said, but she comforted me and said that we could pray together so that I could be sure. So I knelt down at the recliner along side of my mother, and prayed the "sinners prayer" as she led me, and gave my heart to Christ that night.
It's a day I've celebrated ever since, a "birthday" of sorts, and today is no different. I love living life with Christ, and I wouldn't have it any other way. But, I've begun to question this "fear-based" evangelism as a way of sharing the Good News. So, below, I'm going to throw around some thoughts, some questions, some ponderings, not because I know the "right" way to do it, but because I would like to open up the dialogue, and because I wonder if there is a better way.
My experience was that I was told I was a sinner (shame), so I had to repent, or else I would go to hell (fear), so I said the prayer, then had to try to obey all of God's rules (control). In the last few years, I've been learning about the connectedness between fear, shame, and control (thanks to Pastor Terry Moore who wrote Free Indeed), and how in an effort to live a "christian life" we become so performance oriented, completely missing the freedom of living in a relationship with Christ.
Shame tells us there is something wrong with us. We believe that there is something wrong with us, and we're afraid that people will find out, so out of fear, we try to control everything in our lives. But knowing that we're living with masks feeds our shame, and the voices tell us that we're just a fraud. So the cycle continues - shame-fear-control-shame-fear-control----
When we start sharing the gospel with "You're a sinner", we are telling people that there is something wrong with them. Then we throw in a good dose of guilt and fear by telling them that they are separated from God, and therefore will go to hell if they died today. A lot of times, this results in them saying a "prayer" to give their lives to Christ, and we rejoice because we converted another one. However, many studies have shown that many who say these prayers, often fall away, or never have a "life-changing experience" and simply continue living life the same way. So I put it to you, are we manipulating conversions with shame and fear and calling it evangelism?
When Jesus was finished with his ministry, he told the disciples "Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you.." (Matt 28:19) and "you shall be witnesses to Me" (Acts 1:8). These verses are championed by those with great motives of evangelizing the world, often leading to guilt and condemnation for those of us who aren't as excited about jumping into a conversation about the gospel with a complete stranger (as an introvert, this is especially challenging for me). However, when I read these verses, it seems to me that Jesus is more concerned about who we are and how we are living, then what we are saying.
Track with me here for a minute. What does "make disciples" mean? As a non-scholar, I consider what Jesus did. He found twelve men, said "follow me", and then spent three years pouring his life into them. He shared kingdom principles with them, he loved them (even when they were being petty), he gave himself to them, he showed them how to live in relationship with the Father, then He commissioned them to do the same. Yes, Jesus preached to crowds, but He conversed with individuals. He wasn't worried about the numbers of people following Him. In fact, the gospels show us multiple times where he tried to escape the crowds. He was invested in his disciples. He know that they would invest in others, and so on and so on.
In Acts 1:8, Jesus never said "go and witness to everyone you meet". He said, "you will be witnesses to Me". Have you ever considered that witnessing is who we are, not what we do? In John 13:35, Jesus says, "By this all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."
Love. It's who HE is! It's what He does. We love God because he first loved us. Jesus made it simple: because we are so loved, we can love God and love others. He did it first! He does it still. "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love." (1 John 4:18). If we are loved and commanded to love, and if ALL will know we are his disciples by our love, and if love casts out fear, why are we trying to scare people to heaven?
So, what if evangelism looked like this: "Hey, did you know that you are so extravagantly loved by a God who knew you before you were even conceived? Did you know that He is so intrigued by you, that He knows how many hairs are on your head at any given moment? Did you know that He is so consumed with passion for you, that He sent His own Son to show you what life can look like when you have a relationship with Him? Can I tell you how my life has radically changed because of Jesus?"
Sin is just a part of the story, it's not the beginning, and it's not the end. God created us with a divine destiny to live in relationship with Him. Man missed the mark, and has struggled with trying to know God while dealing with sin. Jesus came and triumphed over ALL sin, making a mockery of all darkness, and has invited us to live in Him, where we are given new DNA, free from all sin, shame, rejection, and every evil thing. We are hidden in Christ, where all the fullness of God dwells. Here is life, and life abundantly. It is this goodness and kindness that leads us to repentance. Let's make Him the main attraction of the Good News!!!
"And I, if I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all peoples to Myself." ~ John 12:32
YES! To everything. I can't wait to have conversations like this face to face, Christi!!
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