Confession: Divorce makes me sad.
Now, before you think that I'm going to jump on a soapbox and talk about the evils of divorce, I'm going to ask that you stay with me. This is not that discussion.
A couple of weeks ago, I found out that one of my employees at work was getting a divorce after just a couple years. Then a couple nights ago, I noticed that a friend whose marriage we celebrated not that long ago was without her wedding ring and husband. Then there was a friends' marriage who dissolved after just a couple months, and another after over twenty years, and another, and another.
I know this is a sensitive subject, and that there are many who will jump right out and say that all these people are sinning. I refuse to be one of those people. I have no idea what the
circumstances are in each of these cases, nor do I want to know. It's really none of my business. All I know is that hearing about divorce just makes me sad.
This is something that I have struggled with for a few years. I don't know why it makes me so sad, but it does, especially since I've been married. So, I've been pondering and thinking and praying about it over the last couple weeks. This is me processing through my thoughts, so if this post seems a little discombobulated, I apologize.
I believe that divorce makes God sad too. But, I think that to him, divorce is a bigger concept than just the dissolution of marriage. While He did create marriage, not everyone gets married. However, everyone is created for relationship and community with others. Ephesians 2:10 tells us that we are God's workmanship, created for good works. Later in that same chapter we learn that we are being joined together, in an all-pieces-make-one-great-place kind of way, to build a dwelling place for God Himself. In I Corinthians, Paul teaches that we are all members of one body. Now, I don't know about you, but I don't think I would be very happy if any of my body members ditched my body. I'm rather partial to all of my parts functioning the way they're supposed to -as part of MY body.
In the Hebrew, the word for divorce (as used in Malachi 2:16) means "to send off or away or out or forth, dismiss, give over, cast out". Merriam-Websters Dictionary defines divorce as "separation or severance". I have had friendships that have severed, causing deep pain. I have been involved in church splits that have damaged many hearts and relationships. I have seen teams disintegrate in anger and hatred.
Jesus said in Matthew 19:6, "Therefore, what God has joined together, let no man separate". We've all heard this verse in wedding ceremonies, but I believe it's bigger than just marriage. He has joined us together with others. We are created to be part of others, to live in unity with His body. It was in the upper room when the disciples were gathered in one accord that the Holy Spirit flooded the room. Jesus said that He and His Father are one, and we are created in their image. We are created for relationship and oneness with God and unity others. And He has promised to be with us, even when it's just 2 or 3 gathered in His name.
Marriage isn't easy. Relationships aren't easy. Unity is not easy. But divorce is painful. Let's be a people who press through the hard times, who fight for our marriages, family, friendships, churches; a people who chooses to love even when it's hard; a people who choose to be in community.
"Behold how good and pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity...for there, the Lord has commanded the blessing - Life forevermore." ~Ps 133:1-3
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