It's no secret that offenses are just laying around, ripe for the taking. There are people that say hurtful things, there are people we disagree with, unfulfilled expectations, traumatic events, and those are just the tip of the iceberg. You would think that these would be enough to wrestle with and run away from, but I've discovered a particularly annoying gift that I have to create new offenses.
Now, this probably doesn't make sense for most of you, but as the creative soul that I am, I can make any glance, any word, any slight a giant offense. It works like this: I catch a glance from someone while they're thinking about something completely unrelated, but because of my wild imagination and insecurity, I create a scenario in which they feel a certain way about me. Then I get mad that they feel that way, because they're the ones who have done wrong to me, and there goes the crazy cycle.
Sitting here typing this out makes it all sound completely ridiculous, and it is. Why in the world do I make things more complicated and dramatic than they are? Why do I assume the worst in people? These are the questions that I've been wrestling with for the last couple weeks, as the offenses have gotten too heavy to carry. And here are some of the not so lovely things I have confronted:
- I have been looking to people to help me fulfill dreams that God has given me.
- Why? Because somewhere deep inside, I still don't trust that God will fulfill His word to me.
- So, I've been projecting this disappointment and doubt onto those I love, and those who love me.
- Maybe the One I'm offended by is not the one I'm looking at.
And, suddenly it's becoming a little more clear. Maybe this is why Paul prayed in Ephesians that we would have a greater revelation of His love. Maybe this is why the song that has been stuck in my head for the last 2 weeks is the old hymn, "O, The Deep Deep Love of Jesus".
O the deep, deep love of Jesus!
Vast, unmeasured, boundless, free!
Rolling as a mighty ocean
In its fullness over me!
Underneath me, all around me,
Is the current of Your love
Leading onward, leading homeward
To Your glorious rest above!
O the deep, deep love of Jesus!
Spread His praise from shore to shore,
How His love is never-ending,
And it changes nevermore;
How He watches o’er His loved ones,
Died to call them all His own;
How for them He’s interceding,
Watching o’er them from the throne.
O the deep, deep love of Jesus!
Love of ev’ry love the best:
‘Tis an ocean vast of blessing,
‘Tis a haven sweet of rest.
O the deep, deep love of Jesus!
‘Tis a heav’n of heav’ns to me;
And it lifts me up to glory,
For it lifts me up to Thee.
Vast, unmeasured, boundless, free!
Rolling as a mighty ocean
In its fullness over me!
Underneath me, all around me,
Is the current of Your love
Leading onward, leading homeward
To Your glorious rest above!
O the deep, deep love of Jesus!
Spread His praise from shore to shore,
How His love is never-ending,
And it changes nevermore;
How He watches o’er His loved ones,
Died to call them all His own;
How for them He’s interceding,
Watching o’er them from the throne.
O the deep, deep love of Jesus!
Love of ev’ry love the best:
‘Tis an ocean vast of blessing,
‘Tis a haven sweet of rest.
O the deep, deep love of Jesus!
‘Tis a heav’n of heav’ns to me;
And it lifts me up to glory,
For it lifts me up to Thee.
by Samuel Trevor Francis
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