5. I feel alone; there is no one to work with me toward achieving my dream.
6. No one even notices my gifts; no one believes in me.
I've brought these together, because they often intertwine and gang up on me, feeding me /lies like, "you must have missed your calling," or "you're past your prime, and now no one will support you moving forward," or "you don't fit in anywhere." While my head computes these as lies, it is a full on fight to get my heart in line with the truth.
These heart and head battles have been at an all time high lately, so I've been spending a lot of time working through them, and lately, my thoughts have settled around Joseph. He is one of my favorite dreamers in the Bible! I like to think that he could relate if I whined to him! Growing up with 11 older brothers would make anyone crazy, but then you add the fact that he had all these dreams about him ruling over his family, and watch out world! Yikes! I wonder what he thought when he sat in the pit, alone, listening to his brothers laugh and talk and walk away. I wonder if he questioned God about those dreams of ruling as he sat in the dark mire. And then he was rescued and sold into slavery. But maybe, he thought, this was his chance to get out of the shadow of his brothers and a glimmer of hope resurfaced. And for a while it looked like he was well on his way to dreams fulfilled, as he was given a prominent position in Potiphar's house. As Joseph took care of the second most important man in Egypt, hope began to grow - God's word was going to be fulfilled, and soon! Then, the craziest thing happened! Out of the blue, Potiphar's wife started hitting on him, even begging him to have an affair with her. In an effort to do the right thing, Joseph ran away, leaving his coat behind. Embarrassed, Potiphar's wife used it turn the situation around, and once again, Joseph's dreams are dashed.
Sitting in prison for a crime he was falsely accused of, Joseph was left again with questions. How does one rule from a prison cell? But he continued to serve faithfully, and found favor, even in prison. And soon he found himself interpreting dreams for 2 different servants of the king, with promises that they would please his case with the king. Hope glimmered again - maybe these guys would be the ones to help him get to his fulfilled dreams. Each day could be the day! Soon he would be out, and in with the king! He knew some people! But then day turned to night, and then the next day turned to night, and days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months, months turned to years. Each night, Joseph laid his head down on his rocky pillow, and those dreams seemed more like the crazy imaginations of a kid than anything that could really happen.
You probably know the rest of the story. After 2 years in prison, the king had a dream that no one could interpret and the servant who had previously been in prison suddenly remembered, and Joseph was called, and then rose to a position second only to the king! As a side note, it appears that he actually jumped over Potiphar in importance in the kingdom (that just occurred to me as I typed - interesting, huh?).
Throughout those years, the dreams never vanished. They resonated in his heart. But circumstances and people disappointed time and time and time again. What made Joseph successful? He never once stopped believing in the God who gave him the dream. He never made the dream his priority. He never put others in front of God. He kept the dream in his heart, but his heart he kept in the Lord. His hope remained in God, and He is the Hope that never fails.
"Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us." ~Rom 5:5
Confession: I've looked to others to believe in me and help me fulfill my dreams, rather than keeping my heart and hope in the Dream-giver.
Though none go with me,
Still I will follow.
Though none go with me,
Still I will follow.
Though none go with me,
Still I will follow.
No turning back,
No turning back.
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