Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

"Deceiving others is an essential part of every day social interaction." 

This was the beginning of a seminar I attended today.    The purpose of the seminar was to teach us how to detect lies during investigations and interviews, and in order to set it up, the presenter had to lay the foundation that we all lie on a regular basis.    The statistics are overwhelming.  Consider these studies:

• DePaulo & Kashy (1998): the average person lied to 34% of the people whom she/he interacted with in a typical week.
• Hample (1980) respondents reported lying an average of 13 times per week.
• DePaulo & Bell (1996):  Married couples lied in 1 out of 10 interaction with their partners.
• Robinson, Shepherd & Haywood (1998):  83% of respondents said they would lie in order to get a job.

What disturbed me most was that he easily justified lying, saying that it is "necessary that we lie to each other every day".    He shared an example in which his mother asked him if her old fashioned, outdated coat looked ok.  "Of course, I was going to lie to my mother. I don't want to hurt her feelings."   

Merriam-Webster online defines "to lie" as follows:
1.  to make an untrue statement with intent to deceive
2.  to create a false or misleading impression

As I sat in this class, I was so convicted.  You see, I, too, have justified my dishonesty with excuses of "I don't want to hurt their feelings", or "It's just a little white lie," or "Telling the truth will cause more disruption than lying."    But, if my Sunday School training serves me well, I can't remember a single place in all of Scripture that condones lying.   It's actually quite the opposite.    Jesus said that the devil is the "father of lies", and in Proverbs 12:22 we see that "Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who deal truthfully are His delight."     

We all laugh when kids are blunt and brutally honest.   We've all heard parents talk about how their kids have told them they looked old, or their clothes looked funny, or that they don't like Aunt Sally (in front of Aunt Sally) because she smells funny.     Why is it that we teach kids that it's bad to lie, but they still learn that being honest is not socially acceptable?   Can you imagine how different this world would be if kids never grew out of their "honesty"?    Politicians might be out of a job!  Heck, I might be out of a job!    I wonder if this is part of why Jesus said that we must be like children to enter the Kingdom.   

What do you think?  Is it ever ok to lie?  What does it look like to be honest, but still gracious and loving?  I'd love to hear your thoughts.

"Deliver my soul, Oh Lord, from lying lips and from a deceitful tongue."  Psalm 120:2