If God had a face, what would it look like
And would you want to see it
If seeing meant that you would have to believe
In things like heaven and in Jesus
and the saints and in all the prophets
~Joan Osborne from "If God Was One of Us"
Morpheus gave Neo a choice. He could take the blue pill which would keep him in the Matrix, allowing him to wake up the next day completely oblivious to the reality of said Matrix. His other option was the red pill. This pill would change the entire course of his life, open his eyes to the realities of the Matrix, and would never be able to return to his old way of life. The choice was his.
Confession: Sometimes I don't want to see.
But sometimes I do. The problem with seeing is that we become responsible for what we see. So, the truer confession is "I don't want to be responsible for what I see." The more we look at God and see Him for who He is, the more we become like Him. The "becoming" is the hard part. And it looks different for each of us, even varying by issue. For me lately it has been a giant spotlight exposing the hidden crevices of my heart. As one who likes to remain hidden, this has not been particularly fun. However, God's light is pure love, and His radiance is so overwhelming that I find myself wooed into this spotlight.
We can't be discouraged, though. Unlike The Matrix, there is more reward than risk in seeing. When we risk the spotlight, our Father steps into it with us. This allows us to see more of Him as He's revealing the deepest parts of us. It looks like this:
God: Christi, let's step into the light.
Me: I don't wanna! (in my best toddler tantrum voice)
God: Come on, sweetheart. I'll come with you. I have some cool things to show you.
Me: *Sigh* Ok.
***stepping into the light***
God: Do you see that anger in your heart? Why are you so angry about this situation?
Me: Don't you see how much it hurt me?
God: I do see, and I know it hurt you. Is remaining angry helping you feel better?
Me: Ummmmm.....
God: Do you think you might be ready to forgive?
Me: No way, Jose! I just can't.
God: What if I helped you? I'm a pretty awesome forgiver. Would that make it a little easier?
Me: If you're an awesome forgiver, why don't YOU forgive and leave me out of it? (I'm sure no one else
is this rude or sarcastic to God, but these are my confessions, and I have said this exact thing).
God: I can't really leave you out of it, because you're already in it. Do you smell that? It's the poop of
unforgiveness, and it's only making you more stinky. Are you ready to hop in my shower of grace?
Me: You're right. It is kinda stinky in here. This is hard....
God: Take my hand...we're going to do it together. Ready?
When we are weak, He is strong! When we have lack, He is more than enough! When we see Him, we become like Him! As we become like Him, the world around us changes, because no one can encounter His presence and remain the same. Will you risk seeing?
Beautiful.
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