Sinless Anger

Is there anyone out there who, like me, has wondered what Paul meant when he said, "Be angry, and do not sin..."? (Eph 4:26)   I have often thought that I was just getting mad, but I would never admit that I was sinning.   But truthfully, I sin pretty much every time I get angry.  

It usually goes something like this:
Somebody says something to hurt my feelings.
I blow up (even if just in my head) and come up with all sorts of spiteful comebacks ("I'll show you..." or "You think that I do xyz?  You haven't even seen xyz yet").  
Then I stew over how hideous that somebody is.  "They just have no clue," or "They're just stupid," or.....

Boy, does that make me feel good (insert extreme sarcasm here).    Usually after a while, I start to feel a little guilty and convicted that I need to forgive, and pray for my enemies (and not the "smite them, Oh God" kinda prayers that I was praying a few minutes ago).   So, I grudgingly do my "Christian duty", and then pout the rest of the day about how unfair it is that "somebody" is getting away with being a jacka*&#$&*.

That's all sinless, right?   This has just recently happened to me.   I got into a fight with someone I love very much, and I was hurt deeply.   It wasn't just a hurt feelings kind of hurt, but a heart breaking kind of hurt.   I was devastated.   I was angry.   I was confused.    And I went through the entire scenario above.   But, it wasn't enough.   I was still wounded, and my heart still hurt, and I couldn't find that peace and joy place that is promised to those who are walking in the Kingdom of God.    As I cried in the shower, I heard the faintest whisper, "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood..."   

I didn't need to hear the rest of the verse, because it's so often quoted from Eph 6:12, and I know in my head that my enemies are not living, breathing human beings, but rather "powers, principalities. rulers of darkness".    But, my heart was screaming that it was a person who caused this pain, not a "ruler of darkness".   Or is it?   

I believe with all my heart that this person loves me and would never intend to hurt me.   But you know who doesn't love me?  That pesky "ruler of darkness".   He hates that I am a child of God.  He hates that I have Godly relationships with family and friends.   He hates that my marriage reflects God's deepest desire for intimacy with His people.   Out of this hate, he spews vomit, and does everything he can to destroy these relationships, and to cause division.   This "ruler of darkness" is waging an all out war to keep us isolated, broken, hurt, bitter, and many times he uses us to cause damage to each other.  

The more I think about this, the more angry I become.   How dare this pesky beast try to destroy my friendships, my family, my marriage?   Who does he think he is coming against God's kids?   Why I oughta..! 

Then it struck me... sinless anger is anger that is appropriately directed.       Paul goes on to tell us in Ephesians 4:26, 27, "Be angry, and do not sin:  do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil."    When we allow ourselves to be angry with a person, we let the devil have a place at the table.   And who wants the destroyer of life, love, peace, and joy sitting next to them?   Not me... There are so many lessons, scriptures, words that we can draw from around this issue, but James 4:7 sums it up nicely:  "Therefore, submit to God.  Resist the devil and he will flee from you."  It's time to do some resisting!

Father, I repent for misdirecting my anger towards people, and giving the devil a place at the table.  I thank you for your grace and mercy that you have already poured out on my behalf, and for the sacrifice you made for me to be free.    I choose to forgive and release the ones that have hurt me, and I bless them to be all that you have called and created them to be.   I pray that you will bless them with your joy, your peace, your love, and, most of all, your presence. Thank you for your Spirit and for your Word and for your sweet, gentle guidance to Kingdom living.  You are so good.   In love, me.