I confess that I have my issues, myriads of issues truth be told, but until now I wouldn't have listed complaining amongst them. I have lived most of my life rolling with the punches, embracing change and pursuing the next thing, and thought I handled it all well. Then I went to California for three weeks and discovered the ugly truth.
Confession: I'm a Grumble Gus.
The line at the airport was too long; there weren't enough TSA employees; my ankle hurt; the wifi didn't work; it was too hot; there was no cell service; blah, blah, blah. With each complaint my attitude continued to spiral downward, and frustration bubbled over. I noticed that I was complaining a lot, so I started to catch myself toward the end of the trip. This helped me make it through to get home, but it really was more like applying a band-aid to a large gash.
Two months later and this ugly monster has reared his ugly head in me in a more grandiose fashion. For those of you who don't know, we have just moved from our first apartment in Maine to a duplex (for more on that, check out this blog post). While it's clearly a God thing, this has been one of the hardest moves I've ever made (and I've made a few). We finished moving our stuff to the new place this past Saturday, and as I was unpacking with my friend, I found myself grumbling about everything. The new place is too far from town; the house is dirty; I don't like the layout; the linen closet isn't big enough; blah, blah, blah. With every complaint, the move became harder and harder and harder, and I began to feel more and more distant from the Lord.
That is the most disconcerting thing of all, and something I absolutely cannot live with. I take a small measure of solace in the fact that I'm not the only follower of Christ who has struggled with complaining. In John 6, Jesus had just finished feeding thousands of people, then launched into His "I am the Bread of Life" sermon. This was a hard message for the crowds to understand, and even the disciples were having a hard time swallowing it (pun intended). We pick up the story in verse 61, "Jesus was aware that his disciples were complaining, so he said to them, 'Does this offend you?'".
And therein lies the crux of the matter. My complaining has been a direct result of offenses that I have picked up and worn like badges. Merriam-Webster's dictionary defines offense as "something that causes a person to be hurt, angry or upset." There's probably an entire blog series to be written about the issue of offense, so we won't dive into it too far, but we can't overlook it either.
It's so easy to get "hurt, angry or upset" when things don't turn out the way we expect or when people don't treat us the way we would like. Each time we encounter one of these offenses, we have a choice in how we respond. We can pick up the offense, nurture it by complaining and grumbling, water it with our bitterness and watch it grow the most poisonous of fruits, or we can step over it with a heart of love and gratitude, and continue in joy and peace.
It seems like a no-brainer when it's written down on paper (or a blog post), but in real life it's a little trickier. Offenses can sneak in disguised as discernment, faith, hope, and all manners of "spiritual" things. In my case, I justified my offense by telling God that His Word promised me a better house (it doesn't, by the way), and I complained my way through my prayer time. His simple response was that there is something better that is found waiting in His presence, and we can only access His presence through thanksgiving (Ps. 100:4). Maybe this is why I felt so distant! If thanksgiving ushers us into His presence, then it would go to reason that complaining would take us the opposite direction!
Now do you want the good news? Phil 2:13 says, "For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases Him." Aren't you so grateful that He doesn't give up on us? The process doesn't stop at the "spirit is willing, but flesh is weak" stage, but continues until we are "more than over-comers through Christ" stage. Thank You, Jesus!!!
Right now, this is what He's working on in me, until I can echo the words of Paul in 2 Cor 12:10: "For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong." What about you? What is He poking at in your life? Don't be discouraged, dear one! He doesn't leave us with the desire to please Him, but He gives us the power to do it! Let's keep running after Him - He is worth it all!
