Architect and General Contractor

I've never been part of building a house.  In fact, I've never really been part of building any kind of building.  Well, I did pound a few nails on a Habitat for Humanity project last year, but I never saw the plans, I didn't know the contractors, and no one asked my opinion regarding how it should be built.   They just gave me a hammer and some nails and said, "over there."     From that little experience, I can say with certainty, that building houses is HARD work, especially in the Texas summer sun!   

While I don't know a whole lot about the process, I know that before you can build a house several things are required.    First, you need some land that is zoned and approved for residential living.   Then you need an architect to draw up some plans.    Finally, you need a general contractor to organize the laborers and get the work done.    Almost always, it seems like there are adjustments to the plans, delays in the process, workers that don't live up to their end of the bargain, weather that doesn't cooperate, and paint colors that look different in the house than they did in the store. 

I think our lives and destinies are like houses that are being built.   God has plans for each of our lives.  He knows where we will be built; He knows when we will be ready; He knows what we're being built for; He knows how big or small we need to be; He knows what materials are needed for our locations.   He is a Master Architect.    Not only does He have all the plans, but He is also the General Contractor.    He knows the budget, the materials, the deadlines, and He loves delegating different portions of the home to "sub-contractors".    

Confession:  I am getting impatient in the building process!

I like to watch those DIY shows on the Home Improvement channels, and I always laugh at the homeowners who are trying to save money, so they do their own projects, only to screw it up royally and have to call in a contractor to fix it.     The homeowners that really drive me crazy are those who try to change the plans after the work has started, against the contractors advice, then yell at the contractor when their budget gets blown or the house isn't done on time.   Yet, here I am, one of those crazy homeowners trying to build my own house faster.   I keep trying to change the plans, tell the Contractor how I think it should look, and trying to get it done in breakneck speed.    I keep trying to see the plans, but I know that even if I actually got to see them plans, I wouldn't understand them anyway.  I'm a musician, not an architect!   

And don't even get me started on those sub-contractors!    You know those who are responsible for drilling, nailing, cutting, sanding?    You may have some of those in your life too....work, school, friends, enemies, family members.   All of these people and situations make for some uncomfortable seasons in our lives, but they are so needed if our homes are going to be safe, reliable and functional places.   

God is an amazing contractor with amazing plans for us.    He knows the budget, the deadlines, and has all the right people set up to get us to our destiny and purpose.     Ephesians 2:10 tells us that we are "His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them."   Doesn't that sound good?   I don't know about you, but I want to walk in good works, so it makes sense that I should stick with His plans.    Psalm 127:1 says, "Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain that build it."    What this says to me is, "Christi, quit taking the hammer from my hands!  I have everything under control, and your house will be perfect for you.  Trust me, and rest in me.   This is what I do best!"     

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

"Deceiving others is an essential part of every day social interaction." 

This was the beginning of a seminar I attended today.    The purpose of the seminar was to teach us how to detect lies during investigations and interviews, and in order to set it up, the presenter had to lay the foundation that we all lie on a regular basis.    The statistics are overwhelming.  Consider these studies:

• DePaulo & Kashy (1998): the average person lied to 34% of the people whom she/he interacted with in a typical week.
• Hample (1980) respondents reported lying an average of 13 times per week.
• DePaulo & Bell (1996):  Married couples lied in 1 out of 10 interaction with their partners.
• Robinson, Shepherd & Haywood (1998):  83% of respondents said they would lie in order to get a job.

What disturbed me most was that he easily justified lying, saying that it is "necessary that we lie to each other every day".    He shared an example in which his mother asked him if her old fashioned, outdated coat looked ok.  "Of course, I was going to lie to my mother. I don't want to hurt her feelings."   

Merriam-Webster online defines "to lie" as follows:
1.  to make an untrue statement with intent to deceive
2.  to create a false or misleading impression

As I sat in this class, I was so convicted.  You see, I, too, have justified my dishonesty with excuses of "I don't want to hurt their feelings", or "It's just a little white lie," or "Telling the truth will cause more disruption than lying."    But, if my Sunday School training serves me well, I can't remember a single place in all of Scripture that condones lying.   It's actually quite the opposite.    Jesus said that the devil is the "father of lies", and in Proverbs 12:22 we see that "Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who deal truthfully are His delight."     

We all laugh when kids are blunt and brutally honest.   We've all heard parents talk about how their kids have told them they looked old, or their clothes looked funny, or that they don't like Aunt Sally (in front of Aunt Sally) because she smells funny.     Why is it that we teach kids that it's bad to lie, but they still learn that being honest is not socially acceptable?   Can you imagine how different this world would be if kids never grew out of their "honesty"?    Politicians might be out of a job!  Heck, I might be out of a job!    I wonder if this is part of why Jesus said that we must be like children to enter the Kingdom.   

What do you think?  Is it ever ok to lie?  What does it look like to be honest, but still gracious and loving?  I'd love to hear your thoughts.

"Deliver my soul, Oh Lord, from lying lips and from a deceitful tongue."  Psalm 120:2

Sneak Attack!!

So heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss

And my heart turns violently inside of my chest

I don't have time to maintain these regrets

When I think about the way

He loves us

As a musician in the church my entire life, I have kept tabs on a lot of the "latest" and greatest worship songs (which has gotten much more difficult in the last few years).    This song, "How He Loves" by John Mark McMillan has been one of the most popular for the last couple years, and rightfully so.   It's such a beautiful portrait of the vast love of God for us, and it immediately strikes to the very deepest need in us.    It is also one of the most controversial songs for that line that includes "sloppy wet kiss."     There are already many blogs about the "change of lyrics" and the great debate around whether or not that line was "appropriate", and this is NOT one of those blogs.      

I only mention the song as a bit of a back story to the real point I hope to get to.  I was reading a blog today about a completely different song, but this one was mentioned with it's "controversial line", and it just made me giggle a little bit.    You see, my dog, Daisy, is also part frog.    Or at least, she has the tongue of a frog.   I am not exaggerating.   When she's tired, her tongue hangs out about 6 inches.   She can lick the bottom of a peanut butter jar- a regular sized one!   And once, when she was a particularly devious puppy, she snagged chips from my plate like a frog snags flies.      Daisy is particularly fond of using her freakishly long, sandpaper-ish tongue to exfoliate any skin she sees (she calls that "kisses").      Her most "sloppy wet kiss" is the "sneak attack".    

The sneak attack usually starts with Daisy cuddling up to you, asleep, lulling you into a false sense of security.   As soon as you look away, or start working on the computer, she will sit up and "kiss" your ear and the base of your neck.    Or, when you're laying in bed half awake, she'll pretend to cuddle up to you, then just start "kissing" your face.   It's always startling, but so sweet.   It's like she just wants you to know that she's still here and still loves you lots. 

While I wouldn't say that Daisy is like God (although "dog" does have the same letters...just sayin'!), but I do think that the "sneak attack" is a God-like quality.   Throughout the Bible we see that God "suddenly" shows up on the scene.   There was that time that Elijah was hiding out and "suddenly" God spoke to him.   Or the time that Daniel was praying and "suddenly" there was a Man who appeared in the likeness of God.   And then there was the upper room when "suddenly" there was a mighty, rushing wind.   What about Saul on the road to Damascus?  "Suddenly" a light shone, and his life was so radically changed that he needed a new name!    

The beautiful thing about it is that God is still the same "Suddenly" God!    Take for instance, today.   I've recently blogged about the reorganization at work, and I will tell you that I've had some concerns about how it will turn out for me.    Today, while talking to one of my colleagues, I heard something that I really needed to hear that just encouraged my heart right at the point of my biggest concern.   It was a "sloppy wet kiss" sneak attack kinda moment, when God said, "I'm still here and I love you lots."    

Yummy Peanut Butter!!!

                       

Premature Truths

Paul thinks it's hilarious to tickle me until I can't breathe.  I, on the other hand, find this torturous, and usually spout out some kind of threat.    A couple nights ago, I spouted off jokingly, and Paul said something along the lines of "If you do that, I'll tickle you until you can't breathe."    I responded with, "Don't threaten me!" and he said, "That wasn't a threat.  It was a premature truth."    

We have been laughing about that statement since, but at the same time it's been nagging me.    You see, a few weeks ago, we had a guest speaker at church, and he was speaking about the things we say.     We've all heard the verse "let your yes be yes, and your no be no."   In other words, say what you mean and mean what you say.   Simple enough, right?

Confession:   I often speak way before I think.

I really like to think that when I promise something, I follow through and keep my promise, or that when I say something, I am honest in my communication.    I think that as a whole, most people fall into that category.    But what if it's more than following through on our promises?    

Proverbs 18:21 tells us that "death and life are in the power of the tongue."     Our words have power, significant power.    Have you ever met someone who seems to "always have things going wrong"?   If you talk to them very long, you will hear them say things "I just can't get ahead," or "Why are bad things always happening to me?" or "I wonder what's gonna happen next."    Or what about someone who seems to be sick all the time?  At the first symptom, you hear them say "I'm coming down with the flu," or "I bet I get that same bronchitis my son had."     If you have ever had your feelings hurt, I guarantee you it is most often because of words.  Who hasn't had a parent or teacher tell us that "you'll never be good enough" or "you just aren't smart enough" or "that you shouldn't dance like that"? 

Of course, it's not only death that is held in the tongue.   We also have life.   This is a very God-like quality.    The very beginning of the Bible shows us that God spoke and the world was created.   Words are creative in nature.    

Words fuel the thoughts in our heads.   Thoughts fuel our beliefs.    Beliefs fuel our actions.     In essence, every word we speak becomes a "premature truth".    If this is the case, then I certainly want to watch my words more closely.   Instead of calling someone that cut me off a jerk, maybe I will bless them with patience.    Instead of getting frustrated with that screaming kid's mom, maybe I will declare that her children will rise up and call her blessed.   Instead of saying "I'm not good enough", maybe I will declare that "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."    Instead of calling those nations' leaders "crazy warlords that should all be nuked", maybe I'll bless them as kings that have been put in place by God, and call forth His purpose.    

While we can't control every single thing that happens to us, I would wager an entire paycheck that we could change a lot of our circumstances simply by remembering that our words are "premature truths".   And not just our own circumstances, but imagine how the world would change!   What "truth" are you declaring over your life, your family, your job, your city, your nation, your world?  

"I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live."  ~Deut 30:19

Sinless Anger

Is there anyone out there who, like me, has wondered what Paul meant when he said, "Be angry, and do not sin..."? (Eph 4:26)   I have often thought that I was just getting mad, but I would never admit that I was sinning.   But truthfully, I sin pretty much every time I get angry.  

It usually goes something like this:
Somebody says something to hurt my feelings.
I blow up (even if just in my head) and come up with all sorts of spiteful comebacks ("I'll show you..." or "You think that I do xyz?  You haven't even seen xyz yet").  
Then I stew over how hideous that somebody is.  "They just have no clue," or "They're just stupid," or.....

Boy, does that make me feel good (insert extreme sarcasm here).    Usually after a while, I start to feel a little guilty and convicted that I need to forgive, and pray for my enemies (and not the "smite them, Oh God" kinda prayers that I was praying a few minutes ago).   So, I grudgingly do my "Christian duty", and then pout the rest of the day about how unfair it is that "somebody" is getting away with being a jacka*&#$&*.

That's all sinless, right?   This has just recently happened to me.   I got into a fight with someone I love very much, and I was hurt deeply.   It wasn't just a hurt feelings kind of hurt, but a heart breaking kind of hurt.   I was devastated.   I was angry.   I was confused.    And I went through the entire scenario above.   But, it wasn't enough.   I was still wounded, and my heart still hurt, and I couldn't find that peace and joy place that is promised to those who are walking in the Kingdom of God.    As I cried in the shower, I heard the faintest whisper, "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood..."   

I didn't need to hear the rest of the verse, because it's so often quoted from Eph 6:12, and I know in my head that my enemies are not living, breathing human beings, but rather "powers, principalities. rulers of darkness".    But, my heart was screaming that it was a person who caused this pain, not a "ruler of darkness".   Or is it?   

I believe with all my heart that this person loves me and would never intend to hurt me.   But you know who doesn't love me?  That pesky "ruler of darkness".   He hates that I am a child of God.  He hates that I have Godly relationships with family and friends.   He hates that my marriage reflects God's deepest desire for intimacy with His people.   Out of this hate, he spews vomit, and does everything he can to destroy these relationships, and to cause division.   This "ruler of darkness" is waging an all out war to keep us isolated, broken, hurt, bitter, and many times he uses us to cause damage to each other.  

The more I think about this, the more angry I become.   How dare this pesky beast try to destroy my friendships, my family, my marriage?   Who does he think he is coming against God's kids?   Why I oughta..! 

Then it struck me... sinless anger is anger that is appropriately directed.       Paul goes on to tell us in Ephesians 4:26, 27, "Be angry, and do not sin:  do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil."    When we allow ourselves to be angry with a person, we let the devil have a place at the table.   And who wants the destroyer of life, love, peace, and joy sitting next to them?   Not me... There are so many lessons, scriptures, words that we can draw from around this issue, but James 4:7 sums it up nicely:  "Therefore, submit to God.  Resist the devil and he will flee from you."  It's time to do some resisting!

Father, I repent for misdirecting my anger towards people, and giving the devil a place at the table.  I thank you for your grace and mercy that you have already poured out on my behalf, and for the sacrifice you made for me to be free.    I choose to forgive and release the ones that have hurt me, and I bless them to be all that you have called and created them to be.   I pray that you will bless them with your joy, your peace, your love, and, most of all, your presence. Thank you for your Spirit and for your Word and for your sweet, gentle guidance to Kingdom living.  You are so good.   In love, me.

Who Knows?

We are in the middle of a crazy reorganization at work.   Big picture, this will be a great thing for the company, and we are very blessed not to be losing any jobs, which is amazing given the current economy.   However, there are impending changes of management, office location, structure, processes, and commutes.  We are still early in the process which means there are far more questions than answers.   You can imagine the unrest that has accompanied the announced changes.

There is a lot of speculation around the unknowns, and if I had a dollar for every "Who knows?" that has been spoken, I would be able to retire!   "Who knows where we'll be?"  "Who knows what it will look like in a few months?"  "Who knows who we'll work for?"     I must admit I've said a few of these myself.    

In the midst of all of these "Who knows", I was taken back to a Beth Moore class on Esther.   She was talking about Esther's doubt of her position, and Mordecai's response, "Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?"  (Est 4:14)   Beth brought up the point that in the midst of our "who knows" there is One who knows.   

In Jeremiah 29:11, God tell us, "For I know the plans I have for you."     Psalm 139:16 says,  "Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."    It would seem to me that God knows a whole lot about my life.   So when these announcements came down, He did not fall off His thrown and say, "Oh my Self!  I can't believe that just happened!"    Instead, He's on His throne, chillin' with Mike and Gabe, and cheering us on.   He's rooting for us hear the audibles from the coach (aka the Holy Spirit) and run the routes we need to win the game.  So, when you see those big guys running straight for you, listen for the Spirit, juke when He tells you, and watch those giants fall.   You will make it to the endzone, and dancing in this game is not illegal!    Who knows, you might even make a highlight reel!  

Confession:   I'm drinking a margarita and letting my day go.  

Enjoy the Weird Al song! 

One Of Those Days

by Al Yankovic
Lyrics:
Got to work late 'cause my alarm was busted
The boss chewed me out and everybody's disgusted
'Cause it's one of those days, it's just one of those days

I lost one of my socks in the drier
I can't find my wallet and my hair is on fire
Just one of those days, it's just one of those days

I just wrapped my Cadillac around a tree
A big swarm of locusts is following me
There's not even anything good on TV
It's just one of those day, it's just one of those days

Left all my Beatles records out in the sun
Got a Coke bottle stuck on the end of my tongue
It's just one of those days, gonna be one of those days

The nazis tied me up and covered me with ants
And I spilled toxic waste on my brand new pants
Just one of those days, ever have one of those days

The bank called me up and told me I'm overdrawn
Some freaks are burnin' crosses out on my front lawn
And I can't believe it, all the Cheetos are gone
It's just, just one of those, one of those days
Just one of those, one of those days

The F.B.I. has got a tap on my phone
Those darn Russian spies won't leave me alone
Shouldn't have got up this morning, should've known
It's just one of those days, it's just one of those days

A 747 crashed into my den
And there's nothin' but tater-tots for dinner again
It's just one of those days
Never mind, it's just one of those days

Big steamroller just ran over my mom
And I cut myself shaving and they're dropping the bomb
It's just one of those days
That's all, it's just one of those days

Then late at night, just before I go to bed
The world blows up and now everybody's dead
You just can't deny it, it's just like I said
Just, just one of those, one of those days
Just one of those, one of those days

It's just one of those days (just one of those, one of those days)
It's just one of those days (just one of those, one of those days)
It's just one of those days (just one of those, one of those days)
It's just one of those days (just one of those, one of those days)
It's just one of those days (just one of those, one of those days)
It's just one of those days (just one of those, one of those days)
It's just one of those days (just one of those, one of those days)
It's just one of those days

Brand Spankin' New

We all like new things!   You don't ever really hear someone say, "Man, I really want that used car," or "I wish my boyfriend would give me the ring his last girlfriend didn't take."    We like new houses, new babies, new pets, new toys, new anything.     

But today, I realized something about myself.   I don't like new everything.  There are some things that are just better when they're used, like a comfy pair of tennis shoes.    Mostly, things that are better "used" are my routines.    I have the same morning routine, the same route to work, the same side of the bed.    However, the only constant is life is change, right?   

Isaiah tells us twice that God is doing new things.   Jesus follows up and tells us not to worry about tomorrow because we have enough troubles today.   Then Paul tells us to be ready "in season and out of season".    I wonder if God was trying to clue us in to something?    What if "comfortable" is dangerous?  What if "comfortable" only breeds worry?    If I'm uncomfortable, it's because my routine has been altered, or something that I've held on to has been removed.    Maybe I'm not supposed to have a routine or hold onto anything so tightly?   

Jesus only did what He saw His Father doing, and said only what His Father said.  He said that He did nothing of His own accord.    Complete trust.  Complete flexibility.  Completely led by the Spirit.   In reading about His life, change did not throw His world into complete chaos.   It didn't bother Him that He didn't have a big house, or a regular job.   Heck, He moved from city to city, talked with different people, and never freaked out when someone interrupted His plans.   He just went with the flow.

This same Holy Spirit lives in us.   Jesus told us in John 16:13-15, "However, when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears He will speak; and He will tell you things to come. He will glorify Me, for He will take of what is Mine and declare it to you. All things that the Father has are Mine. Therefore I said that He will take of Mine and declare it to you."  

Maybe, these seasons of shaking and change are really opportunities for us to learn to walk by the Spirit.   

Confession:   I walk about as well as a 1 year old. 

15 Minute Pity Party

Lex Videre, Lex Orandi, Lex Credendi, Lex Vivendi.

When I was in my early 20's, I had the immense honor of having one of the best roommates ever.   Jann was our lead intercessor at the church, an amazing mother, and more importantly a mentor.   She taught me so much about being a woman of God, and I needed her more than I could really describe.    I was a worship director, working full time in corporate America and navigating the "wait" for my man of God.    

During one of my venting sessions with Jann, she told me about the "15 minute Pity Party".    It goes like this:   I don't like my circumstance, so I set the clock for 15 minutes, then I proceed to whine, cry, lay in bed and pound my fists like a 2 year old having a temper tantrum.  When the alarm goes off, I take a deep breath, wipe the tears from my eyes, and go back to worshiping and believing.   

Growing up in the church and the fish bowl of being "the pastor's kid", I learned that crying, asking why, being sad, mad or just plain confused were all signs of a lack of faith, and that "good Christians" were always full of joy and peace and patience.   Any time I would be hurt or sad I would come under so much condemnation, and then begin the self beating for my lack of faith.   It was always worse whenever I would get discouraged while waiting for the promises of God in my life (you know, the whole "Hope deferred makes the heart sick" kind of discouraged?).  

Confession:   Sometimes I still feel bad for feeling bad.

This weekend was particularly tough.   I have been believing for a particular promise for almost 6 years, and while I have complete confidence in God's character as a promise-keeper, I have days that I have to fight to keep His character in front of my circumstances.   On Sunday morning I was startled awake by a dream in which some friends were celebrating fruit of MY promise, but I wasn't, and they were rubbing it in a little bit.  When I woke up, I was completely heartsick, and thought "Why them, and not me?"   It was a struggle to even get out of bed and drag myself to church, but I did.    And of course, it was amazing and just for me, but then I digress.   

On Sunday afternoon, I was working it out with the Lord, and I just kept hearing "Jesus wept.".    I thought that maybe Jesus wept because he didn't know initially that God was planning to raise Lazarus up, and I was planning on making this great analogy that sometimes we don't know that God is planning something glorious just around the corner.    But then today I actually read the story in John 11, and to my surprise, the story was a lot different than I remembered.     In the first couple of verses, Jesus learns that Lazarus is sick, and He tells the disciples, "this sickness is not unto death".   A couple days later, Jesus decides He wants to go visit Lazarus, at which point His disciples freak out.  After all, last time they were in the region, people were trying to stone Jesus.   But Jesus says, "Lazarus is sleeping, and I need to go wake him up."    They were oblivious, so Jesus just laid it out there:   "Lazarus is dead.".     We don't see Him showing any kind of emotion at this point, because He knew that His Father had plans to be glorified and that Lazarus wasn't going to stay dead.    Then He goes to visit the family, and Lazarus' sisters are crying and asking Jesus "why weren't you here?".    And He still remains calm, telling them that they will see Lazarus again.   It wasn't until Jesus saw Mary crying along with the mourners at the grave that we read, "He groaned in the spirit and was troubled," and when He saw the grave he wept.    

We have no record of how long he wept, but we can gather that it was a deep grief by the response of those who witnessed it.  "See how He loved him," they said.     Now, I've heard many pastors teach that Jesus wept because of all the unbelief.    While that may be true, I put this out for consideration, based on Hebrews 4:15 which tells us that Jesus can sympathize with our weaknesses.    I think that Jesus wept because He was confronted with the death of a loved one.   He "had a word", and knew that Lazarus would live again, but when He came face to face with Lazarus' death, He felt grief.      He felt grief, and He wept.    

But then He did something crazy.   He worshiped.   Jesus went to the tomb and started His prayer with, "Father I thank you that you have heard me."   It fascinates me that He started with this statement, because it came right after the weeping.    Psalm 56:8 says that God puts all of our tears into His bottle, and Jesus rested in the fact that His Father heard His cries.    

We all know the rest of the story.   Jesus calls Lazarus out of the grave after being stinky dead for 4 days, and all those who were close glorified God.    

I could be way off, but I don't think that God ever asks us to deny our emotions and the painful things in life. I do believe, however, that He doesn't want us to be ruled by our emotions by focusing on the circumstances.   His plans really are perfect.  His timing is perfect.   His love is perfect.    So if you, like me, struggle sometimes with waiting and believing for His promise, set the alarm clock for 15 minutes, cry, scream and pound your fists.  Then get back up, and worship Him.   He is good.  He loves you.   His grace is bigger and His love is wider and His mercy is higher and He is worthy.   

As we see, so we worship, so we believe, so we live.

When Good Isn't Enough

Today at work I was told that I'm doing some "some things good, not great".    What I heard was "you're doing a terrible job," and I must confess it did not feel good.     I want to be great, not good, and I want other people to think I'm great.

I was so upset, that I donned my party hat and had a full blown pity party on the way home.  I steamed and fumed and just as I was going to start throwing my arms in the air in the tantrum fist pump, I heard a faint whisper.  And while it was hard to hear anything over my bass bumpin' party music, the words "no one is good but God" pierced the air and stopped the party faster than parents coming home early.

You may remember the story in Mark, where the rich young ruler came to Jesus and asked Him, "Good teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?".   Before Jesus' answered his question, He asked one of His own:  "Why do you call me good?  No one is good but One, that is, God."      I don't believe the intent of this statement was to make us all feel badly about ourselves, to wallow in our muck and wrongly assume we can never grow out of where we are.    To me, it seems like Jesus was simply pointing us to His Father.    Is it possible that He was giving us a clue?   

In 1 Samuel 30, we read the story of David who was "greatly distressed because the people spoke of stoning him," so he "strengthened himself in the Lord."     What exactly does that look like?   I have always imagined that it was a lot of positive self-talk, trying to talk myself into believing what I"m saying.  I think I even wrote a song about that once.    But what if that gobblygook doesn't really work, and that's not what David really did?    In the Psalms, David did talk to himself, but here's what he said: "Why so downcast, o my soul?  Put your hope in God!"   He didn't say "Come on David, you're smart, you're good looking and doggone it, people like you.  Pull yourself together!"    He said "God is greater than what's going on here."

God told Jeremiah (9:23-24), "Let not the wise boast of their wisdom, or the strong boast of their strength, or the rich boast of their riches, but let the one who boasts boast about this:  that they have understanding and know me, that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on the earth, for in these I delight."    Paul echoes the same sentiment in 2 Corinthians 12:9, which says "And He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness.'  Therefore, most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest on me."       

What if it's not about us being great, but rather about us belonging to a great God?   What if we are "strengthened in the Lord" by declaring who He is over our situations and circumstances?    What if His being great is good enough?   While His greatness does not provide us an excuse to remain lazy and mediocre, it covers and empowers us to show His glory.   And isn't that what it's all about anyway?   "No one is good but One, that is, God."

"Who is so great a God as our God?"  ~Ps. 77:13b

When Love Looks Like Poop

"Let ALL that you do be done in love."  ~ 1 Cor 16:14

I love LOVE!  I love romance and being in love and the butterflies in my belly every time I see my husband.   I love being married, and coming home to my love each night.   I love romantic comedies where the guy gets the girl and they live happily ever after.    I love my pets.   The dog cracks me up, and the cat has such a personality (I swear, I don't know where she gets it!). 

I HATE cleaning!   I wish I could snap my fingers and the house would magically be spotless.   I wish that it would never get dirty.   I also HATE cleaning up poop!   The cat box, whew....GROSS!   But even worse is doggy poop.   Now that we live in an apartment, we have to pick up Daisy's doodoo anytime she goes outside.    Can I just say that I'm that girl standing in the yard gagging, hacking and nearly fainting?    And then there's the toilet.   I don't think I need to even expound on that.   YUCK!

Confession:   Sometimes I let the house get messy, the cat box get full and leave poop in the yard.    

I am the queen at making excuses.   My favorites are "I'm tired after a long day of work,"  "I'll do it tomorrow,"  "I have more important things to work on," and the best excuse is "It's Paul's turn!  He should have done it already!"     I have a lot more, but these are my most well-worn.    

I think that Jesus probably could have made those same excuses when it came to washing His disciples feet.   He actually had better excuses, like "I'm GOD!  They should wash my feet!".   And He would have been right, and no one would have questioned Him.    But instead, He took off His coat, got down on His knees, and washed the poop off of each of His disciples' stinky feet.   He didn't question.  He didn't procrastinate.   He didn't think it beneath Him.   He didn't wait for someone to do it because it was their turn.  He simply loved them enough to step out of His position and meet their basest needs.   

Sometimes, love looks like doing the dishes, folding laundry, cooking dinner, changing diapers, cleaning cat boxes.   Sometimes love looks like poop.

Just Like Me

Confession:   I think that everyone should be just like me.

Doesn't that just sound ridiculous?    When I say it out loud, it screams ARROGANCE!     It's easy to hide this though.  It's easy to pretend that I don't really believe that.    But it comes out in the darndest ways.    

It comes out in my marriage, when I think that Paul should read my mind or should want Chinese food for dinner or should want to watch that chic flick.

It shows up at work in meetings with other managers, in dealing with employees I think should approach their job the same way I do, in assessing values to claims, when others are promoted before me.

It shows up in the church community, when I believe that I have greater revelation than another denomination, when worship doesn't go the way I think it should, or when people are in leadership that I don't agree with.

It shows up in patriotism, when I believe the US is better than other nations, when I believe that everyone learns and believes history they way I do, or when I think that other countries and cultures should embrace our western ways.   

It shows up in the grocery store when I think that mom should get a handle on her kids.  

It shows up on the road when I think everyone should drive like me.   

It's crazy, because I really do love the uniqueness of people, cultures, denominations.   I love that we all see different facets of the same jewels.   What I haven't quite conquered yet is the thought that my way of thinking may not be the only right way of thinking.   It's always easy to appreciate someone else's point of view if they're wrong!   But what if they are right?   What if there are more right ways of thinking than wrong ways?   What if it's not a matter of right v. wrong, but just different?

Paul addresses this a bit in Philippians 2:4 when he says, "in humility, value others better than yourselves."    What if we really did value others better than ourselves?   What if I really valued their points of view, their beliefs, their cultures, their politics better than mine?

Now, there is a line here that we do not want to cross.   I am not talking about universalism, "all roads lead to God", or a relative morality.    The Bible is very clear that Jesus is THE way, THE truth and THE life, and that no one comes to the Father without coming through Him.    What I am talking about, though, is the silly arguments we can get into over the minutiae.   What if tattoos aren't really what's keeping me out of heaven?   What if worship without instruments is just as beautiful as a full band and choir?   What if the still small voice of God is screaming through someone who thinks differently than me?    That would make sense. After all, wasn't it God who said, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways."?      

The great news is that we have a super special gift!   The Holy Spirit teaches us about everything, and reveals God in everything, and He guides our hearts and minds.    We have been given the mind of Christ, so we have access to His thoughts!   What if we took captive every single one of our thoughts, and allowed His thoughts alone?   I wonder how different our lives would look.   I bet His world is amazingly beautiful, full of passion and purpose.   That's how I want to see this world and the people He loves so much.   

"And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God."  ~Romans 12:2

Ideal or Idol?

I love the Olympics.   For 2 weeks every two years, we see the world come together in an amazing display of athleticism and artistry and nationalism.   I love that random sports take center stage (hammer throw, dressage or track cycling anyone?), and that I find myself cheering as if I know what's going on.    Especially fun for me are the special interest stories.   You know, the feel good stories of how the families sacrificed and the athletes overcame all odds and how they've lived their whole lives for this single event?

Some of the stories truly are amazing.   I've been so moved by Oscar Pistorius and his triumph over adversity.    I heard it said that his mother used to tell him to just put on his legs and do whatever his brother was doing, whether running or climbing a tree.   What a beautiful piece of parenting - calling out the destiny in her son.

Then there are those stories that you hear that just make your heart break.    For example, the Chinese diver whose parents didn't tell her that her grandparents had died...SIX years ago!   In an interview, the father said that he had given up his dreams of "family happiness" because he realized that she didn't belong to them only.   They didn't tell her about her grandparents, because they didn't want to distract her from winning the gold medal in the Olympics.   

It's amazing to hear families talk about how they sent their 12 year old to another state to train, or how their 6 year old was enrolled in an aquatic center, or how their child was home only 4 times in the last 12 years.   In a similar fashion, the athletes talk about training for hours and hours and hours a day, and missing high school or childhood events.   And all of this to win the gold medal. But, when they only win a silver, there is heartbreak, devastation, and shame.   This happened to one of our US gymnasts this year.  She was added to the team because of her vault super-power.    Her entire Olympic experience was 5 vaults which took less than 5 minutes.   And although she is the best valuter in the world, she sat down, and won silver.    Her face showed it all.  Ideally, she would have won gold.   When she didn't, there was devastation.

On the flip side, you see athletes who come in with absolutely zero chance of winning, but come in and give it their all.   Take, for instance, the rower from Africa who came in almost 2 minutes after everyone else had already finished.  He was just thrilled to be there.    And, what about that Missy Franklin?  At 17, she has already won a couple of Olympic medals and has rocketed to athletic celebrity.   After she came in 4th in one race, she was interviewed about how she felt (which, by the way, is the dumbest question ever-how do you think they feel?).   She smiled, looked at the reporter straight in the eye and said, "I think that 4th in the Olympics is pretty good, don't you?"   As a side note, Missy has turned down multiple endorsement offers, choosing to remain amateur so she can continue to swim with her high school and eventual college teams. 

My question is simple.  "Is it worth it?"   Is the gold medal the "ideal", or does it become an "idol"?   Is it possible to strive toward perfection, but maintain balance?    While the answer may differ, each of us must answer one question, "Who is my master?"    I can tell you that athletics or striving for a gold medal will NEVER become my master (so I guess I can just check out here, right?).   But, can I say without a doubt that there are no idols masquerading as ideals in my life?   

Merriam-Webster defines "ideal" as a standard of perfection, beauty or excellence; an ultimate object of aim or endeavor.     Another definition is "existing as a mental image or in fancy or in imagination only; lacking practicality".     I must confess, I have had some "ideals" in my life (maybe still do).    Ideally, I would love to be able to sustain my standard of living by writing music and traveling the world.   Ideally, I would have 5 kiddos and a big house in the middle of nowhere (preferably somewhere in Europe).    Ideally....Ideally....Ideally....    In the middle of chasing these "ideals", I somehow began focus on the fact that my current circumstances were less than ideal.    Then I became ungrateful.   Then I told God that His plans for me weren't "ideal".   Wow, that hurts just typing that out.   Whew.... Maybe that's why Jesus told us that "No one can serve two masters.  Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to one and despise the other." (Matt 6:24a) 

Now, for those who might get your knickers in a twist, I believe that God is a God of excellence.   And I do believe that He has different giftings in and for each of us, which could look like training for hours every day to become a gold medalist.     You are not an idol worshiper if you want to be the best in your field.    Ideally, we would be the top of our given fields.    All I am saying is that our hearts can be fickle, and sometimes we get our vowels crossed.     Let's be a people of ideals, not idols.    

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize?   Run in such a way as to get the prize."  ~1 Cor 9:24

Red Pill or Blue Pill?

 
If God had a face, what would it look like
And would you want to see it
If seeing meant that you would have to believe
In things like heaven and in Jesus
and the saints and in all the prophets
~Joan Osborne from "If God Was One of Us"



Morpheus gave Neo a choice.   He could take the blue pill which would keep him in the Matrix, allowing him to wake up the next day completely oblivious to the reality of said Matrix.    His other option was the red pill.   This pill would change the entire course of his life, open his eyes to the realities of the Matrix, and would never be able to return to his old way of life.    The choice was his.

Confession:   Sometimes I don't want to see. 

But sometimes I do.   The problem with seeing is that we become responsible for what we see.   So, the truer confession is "I don't want to be responsible for what I see."   The more we look at God and see Him for who He is, the more we become like Him.   The "becoming" is the hard part.   And it looks different for each of us, even varying by issue.   For me lately it has been a giant spotlight exposing the hidden crevices of my heart.  As one who likes to remain hidden, this has not been particularly fun.    However, God's light is pure love, and His radiance is so overwhelming that I find myself wooed into this spotlight.

We can't be discouraged, though.  Unlike The Matrix, there is more reward than risk in seeing.   When we risk the spotlight, our Father steps into it with us.   This allows us to see more of Him as He's revealing the deepest parts of us.     It looks like this:
God:   Christi, let's step into the light.
Me:     I don't wanna! (in my best toddler tantrum voice)
God:   Come on, sweetheart.  I'll come with you.  I have some cool things to show you.
Me:     *Sigh*  Ok.
           ***stepping into the light***
God:   Do you see that anger in your heart?    Why are you so angry about this situation?
Me:     Don't you see how much it hurt me?  
God:   I do see, and I know it hurt you.   Is remaining angry helping you feel better?
Me:    Ummmmm.....
God:   Do you think you might be ready to forgive?
Me:    No way, Jose!   I just can't.
God:   What if I helped you?   I'm a pretty awesome forgiver.   Would that make it a little easier?
Me:    If you're an awesome forgiver, why don't YOU forgive and leave me out of it?  (I'm sure no one else
          is this rude or sarcastic to God, but these are my confessions, and I have said this exact thing).
God:   I can't really leave you out of it, because you're already in it.    Do you smell that?   It's the poop of  
          unforgiveness, and it's only making you more stinky.   Are you ready to hop in my shower of grace?
Me:    You're right. It is kinda stinky in here.  This is hard....
God:   Take my hand...we're going to do it together.   Ready? 

When we are weak, He is strong!    When we have lack, He is more than enough!   When we see Him, we become like Him!   As we become like Him, the world around us changes, because no one can encounter His presence and remain the same.     Will you risk seeing?