Today has been a hard day for my ego. You see, over the last few weeks, I've been starting to feel pretty good about how my walk with God has been going, and the fact that He's been speaking to me in new ways. But today, I didn't really like what He had to say very much.
It actually started yesterday, when I had plans to get a few things done that I've been telling myself I would have done by the end of September (yes, today is November 4). Instead, I played on Pinterest all day long, looking at new projects that I can do (completely ignoring the fact that I had several that are still sitting there undone). I managed to ignore the twinge of guilt as I mindlessly scrolled through pages of brilliance, and then played video games with Paul, and then again when I played games on my phone. After a day of doing absolutely nothing, I was exhausted, so I didn't even feel the guilt when I fell soundly asleep looking forward to my extra hour of sleep (thanks Daylight Savings for giving me the hour you took in March!).
Then this morning, we had a guest speaker who is one of the leading missions strategists in the world, and he was talking about where we are in the world, and the crises that we are experiencing, he mentioned a group of people labeled "heroes" (from one of the hundreds of sociology books he's read). These "heroes" are the young adults who have been described as "entitled, lazy, apathetic, selfish" who suddenly rise up with purpose when faced with a crisis, and they are usually in their 20's and 30's. He was saying that we need to pray for these heroes to discover their purpose, and awaken out of their complacency in order to see the world changed. Immediately, I was convicted, as I fall in this age range, and I know that I am not living up to my full potential and doing all that God has designed me to do.
Because I'm still quite thick-headed, I got home and sat down with the computer to start blogging again (yes, it's been a couple weeks, and I'm not very proud of that), but was completely distracted by looking at the news, when I ran across an article titled, "Please, Stop Following Your Dreams" by Phil Cooke. I was intrigued, thinking that there would be something in there that might help me justify my inaction and make me feel better about myself. But alas, that was simply a pipe dream, and I really should have known better. What I read was a challenge to be what I am designed to be, ending with the question "Have you done the time?" Cooke elaborates on the fact that fulfilling what you're destined to fulfill takes work and commitment, both of which take discipline (our favorite word, right?).
So, in response to all of this, I wasted the entire afternoon, watching tv, playing on my phone, and laying on the couch before returning to church for a special service. The same speaker spoke after an extended time of worship, during which I could barely stand. I knew that I had to write this post as soon as I got home and confess. Instead of publishing this as one super long post, I will break it down over a couple of days.
I will start with my confession. I have been making the following excuses to justify my laziness:
1. I'm too tired; I just want to relax.
2. I have to work a "secular" job that saps all my energy and strength.
3. It's too hard.
4. I have too many things to work on, I don't know where to start.
5. I feel alone; there is no one to work with me toward achieving my dream.
6. No one even notices my gifts; no one believes in me.
In Luke 14, Jesus tells a parable of a rich man who throws a great feast, but the people he invites all make excuses as to why they can't come. Then he tells his servants to go invite the poor, the lame, the homeless instead. While many equate this passage (v. 15-24) to the end-time harvest, I think that it might also be relevant to us today. In v. 15, Jesus says, "Blessed is he who shall eat bread in the kingdom of God," and Jesus says earlier that the kingdom of God is NOW and is among us. So what is this bread? When Jesus was tempted by the devil in the wilderness to work a miracle and provide for himself something to eat, Jesus defeated him by saying "Man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God." During His sermon on the mount, He said, "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled." And let's not forget that He said, "I am the Bread of Life". So, what if this parable is not about who is getting "saved", but rather about those of us who are already in relationship with God (in the story, the man was likely inviting his friends, not strangers), and the call to sit at His table and dine on His words, fulfilling the plans and purposes He has for our lives?
Take a look at the text and think about it....We'll pick up here next time, exploring some of these excuses.
Now when one of those who sat at the table with Him heard these things, he said to Him, "Blessed is he who shall eat bread in the kingdom of God!” Then He said to him, “A certain man gave a great supper and invited many, and sent his servant at supper time to say to those who were invited, ‘Come, for all things are now ready.’ But they all with one accord began to make excuses. The first said to him, ‘I have bought a piece of ground, and I must go and see it. I ask you to have me excused.’ And another said, ‘I have bought five yoke of oxen, and I am going to test them. I ask you to have me excused.’ Still another said, ‘I have married a wife, and therefore I cannot come.’ So that servant came and reported these things to his master. Then the master of the house, being angry, said to his servant, ‘Go out quickly into the streets and lanes of the city, and bring in here the poor and the maimed and the lame and the blind.’ And the servant said, ‘Master, it is done as you commanded, and still there is room.’Then the master said to the servant, ‘Go out into the highways and hedges, and compel them to come in, that my house may be filled. For I say to you that none of those men who were invited shall taste my supper.’”
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